Language Gap or Generation Gap?

When I logged into Blogger tonight my husband asked me, are you writing smack about China???

No, of course not dear, I always keep it educational and unbiased here. Why would I write smack about China??? **Stares at toes.** Maybe I should just write about the cat...

Many people have asked me if Jason and I have communication issues. Especially since, when we met, neither one of us spoke the other's language very well. The truth is, that's one of the things that makes our relationship so special... our ability to "get" each other, even when language fails us. To be honest, Jason's English these days is MUCH better than my Chinese.

I got a text from him the other day while he was at work. It said. "I'M CAPSLOCK... SO BUSY!"
Huh??? I'm pretty good at deciphering Jason's Chinglish... but this one didn't make any sense to me. I didn't reply.

When he got home that night, he flopped down on the bed, exhausted. He says, I learned a new word today. CAPSLOCK! It means you're angry. I laughed in pity. Oh honey, when you push caps lock and write in all caps, it appears that you are screaming, but people don't use the word capslock as a euphemism for being angry. Over the next few days I continued to laugh to myself. I'M SO CAPSLOCK!!!

In preparation for writing this blog, I looked up CAPSLOCK in the urban dictionary:

Well, there you have it. Looks like I was wrong. Who knew?

A Shitty Trip to the Vet

 

Meet Orangejello (or-AN-juh-lo) AKA Shitty Kitty. What a shitty thing to call a cat, you might say. I agree, but my roommate started calling him that and the name just stuck. 

Well, this week Shitty came down with a chest infection and we needed to take him to the vet. Our usual vet only speaks Chinese so I decided to try out the new international vet down the street, just to be safe. I called to make an appointment and they didn't have anyone who spoke English so I surprised myself and managed to tell the receptionist all of Shitty's symptoms in Chinese. I even managed to answer all of her questions about immunizations and past medical history including his recent neutering. 

The phone conversation went pretty well until it came time to give her my personal information. J-A-C-K-I-E, I spelled. J-A-C-A-I-E, she asked. Oh dear, after botching both my name and email address multiple times, it was time to give her the name of our cat. I thought about it for a moment. Orangejello is such a long name. So many letters to stumble over! I started spelling S-H-I-T-T-Y. I figured, she doesn't speak English, it's just easier this way. When I finished, she snickered. Nervously, I snickered. A long silent moment passed. Shit. This is one word this girl understands. How embarrassing. 

We got to the vet and Shitty's name was already in the system. I paid for his exam and my shame deepened as I was handed the receipt with his lovely name populating several fields. After his exam, I was introduced to the resident vet who was... an American. I hung my head in shame and she walked me through his diagnosis and treatment... all while looking at his chart with his shitty name written at the top. 

=======>Mother of the Year Award right here please!<=======

The moral of this story, never assume Chinese people don't understand English. 

Oh, and O-R-A-N-G-E-J-E-L-L-O... that spells Shitty!